Jenessa Otabor, Fenway High, Boston, 2023

You never know how much a stranger's words can impact your life. During my junior year, I decided to take a college course. My hands were dripping with sweat as I walked through the mass of Suffolk University students. My heart felt like it would come out of my chest, and the walls were closing in on me until I had no space to move.

Walking into class, I felt unprepared and intimidated like I did not belong. As if being the only high school student there was not bad enough, I had never taken a psychology course before and as I looked around the room, I did not see anyone that looked like me. This was going to be a long semester, I thought to myself. As the professor jumped into the logistics of class, thoughts of self-doubt and discouragement were pounding against my brain and smashing my self-confidence to a pulp.

Each class, I would sit in the front by myself, hiding behind my computer and notes. Every time I thought I had the confidence to answer the professor’s questions or integrate myself into the discussion, the words would rise up and be at the tip of my lip screaming, “Let me out!” But I pushed it back down and kept my ideas trapped inside, not letting them out to shine. This became a routine and I was starting to become accustomed to it.

But one day, Christina, a student who usually sat a few tables behind me, sat next to me. As the class went on, she raised her hand with determination and confidence. I admired her intelligence and insight, and I was awestruck. Oh, how I longed for that to be me! She continued to sit next to me and come in with that same bright aura that mesmerized the whole class.

One day, I wanted to contribute so badly but every time I raised my hand, it seemed the professor would look over me. I put my hand down slowly like a crab retreating into its shell, but Christina said “Girl! Raise your hand higher,” then called out to the professor, “Jenessa had something to say, she has been raising her hand.” I felt heard and advocated for. I said what had been on my chest, and the professor said, “Yes! I was waiting for someone to say it. I am glad you brought that up.” This point I shared started a whole new discussion in the class that engaged everyone.

In the next class, we played “Jeopardy” to prepare for our first exam. I was grouped with the girls sitting behind me, and we looked at each other in awkward silence. Every time it was our turn to respond to a question, we let the time run out, forfeiting our points to the next group. But Christina’s words kept ringing in my head. I raised my hand and said the answers, then ding ding! I was correct! My team erupted in applause and I felt so proud of myself.

I confided in and connected with Christina on a different level because she was a fellow Black woman, and I felt understood. She showed me that anything is possible and that I hold weight in society. I participated and made my voice heard in class because I know that my ideas are valid. They are a spark just waiting to be ignited.

I learned to speak, even if my voice shakes. The way society is constructed can silence women of color. Being one of two Black women in the class was intimidating, but speaking our truth is even more important. Using our voice to share our experiences and insight with others makes an impactful difference. That is what the world needs and I vow to be that same advocate for the next Black girl, so she can feel comfortable in herself to engage with the world.